My Confidence Journey
If you follow me on Instagram, you may have noticed I call myself a "confidence crusader". By definition, a crusader is a person who works hard or campaigns for a cause. Thus, my crusader mission has evolved to advocating for all people of all shapes and sizes, to feel good and be comfortable in the skin that they are in just as they are, TODAY. I will forever champion and passionately advocate for size inclusivity everywhere, especially within the fashion industry.
Oftentimes, I receive questions pertaining to self confidence, like "how did you get to be so confident?" So, today's post is focused upon my own confidence journey, and sharing the tips and tricks I've learned with you is my honor. I strongly believe confidence is an influencing part of any life journey. Confidence evolves, flourishes as well as wanes with each new situation, celebration or challenge experienced.
MOTO JACKET (XL) | SIMILAR MOTO JACKET HERE AND HERE | DRESS (XL) | STRAPLESS BRA | SHAPEWEAR (L- USE CARALYN10) | SHOES | HOOPS (50mm) | BRACELET
I genuinely used to think that I would wake up one day and just magically be confident. I now know confidence isn’t something that is automatic. You can’t just turn on confidence as confidence is rooted in your belief of yourself at any given time. It is something to be conscious of and work at everyday. Think of being, feeling confident like a muscle memory - the more you use it, the more familiar and stronger it will become.
If there’s one thing I think we all have in common is that everyone has struggled with feeling confident at one time or another in life. Confidence varies from experience to experience, among genders, and can be fleeting, situational, or rooted. Heck, there are still moments when I struggle with confidence about my body, my career, and life in general... I certainly do not have it all figured out and realizing that allows me to recognize the journey, and hopefully can be helpful to you by sharing.
I have, and encourage you to realize that each one of us is responsible for our own confidence as well as our own happiness. While being confident is no easy task, I have learned and now practice a few things that you may find useful in your confidence journey:
Self-Love:
Confidence is rooted in self-love. It is really my job to love me first, before anyone else, and before I can well receive love. True self-love involves showing up for yourself even when you feel unlovable, or shameful. Take steps to listen to yourself, identify what caused you to not be able to clearly identify your needs or boundaries. This helps me to feel good about me.
Positive Self-Talk:
Something I've learned is to speak to myself kindly and lovingly, like I would to a young child (my sweet niece comes to mind). Would I tell my niece that she is a fat, ugly, worthless person? Typing that gave me shivers. I would never, and I do not think any of you would either. So why should I say that to myself or you say that to yourself? On the days when we are down & feeling low, and we all have them, I am particularly aware of that self-talk and strive to always keep it positive.
Set Healthy Boundaries:
I'm a strong believer in setting healthy boundaries for myself, and in my relationships and professional life. Having healthy boundaries allows me to make myself a priority, in self-care, career aspirations, or within relationships. Setting boundaries is about giving yourself agency and empowerment. Honoring our limits helps us to take better care of ourselves which leads to feeling confident.
Surround Yourself:
I have become much more aware of surrounding myself with people and voices that are truly supportive, kind and loving. Energy sucking, negative relationships should be limited or ended. I desire to connect with those who are energizing, lifting me up rather than tearing me down to be less than. This is especially important when curating a social media feed. I encourage you to fill your feed, surround yourself, with people who lift you up and support you to feel good about yourself.
Therapy/Counseling:
(Recommended with a licensed professional) Therapy enables me to work on myself emotionally as a person with a non-biased professional. I can reflect on how far I've come, continually processing & overcoming any trauma and struggles I have or do experience to navigate life. It hones my own self-analysis, and fine tunes or clears the lens I use to assess myself in this confidence journey.
Accomplishment:
I channel my energy into things I can get done, and that makes me feel better. Whether it's exercise, cooking a nice meal, writing a blog, getting lost in a TV show, laundry, and even getting dressed and putting makeup on for the day, I accomplish something each day. Celebrate and feel good about each accomplishment, no matter what it is!
Life is a journey, with confidence being a major influencing factor! We all are traveling on our own path, at our own rate. It is not a sprint but a marathon, and I’m here to cheer you on. Know you are worthy! Feel good about you and be proud of who and where you are. Embrace you, as I do! I know how hard it can be at times so by me sharing my journey you'll know you are never alone!
MOTO JACKET (XL) | SIMILAR MOTO JACKET HERE AND HERE | DRESS (XL) | STRAPLESS BRA | SHAPEWEAR (L- USE CARALYN10) | SHOES | HOOPS (50mm) | BRACELET | RING | DISC NECKLACE | BAR NECKLACE
Do you think any of my strategies may work for you? Feel free to use whatever you need! What are some things you've learned about confidence? I'd love to hear more about your confidence journey below in the comments. Thank you for reading. xx CMK
confidence is a journey, not a final destination.
Photos by Ryan Kell