Your Guide To Being a COVID Bride + Newly Engaged in 2020
Hasn’t 2020 been quite the year for us all? This unusual time has presented challenges and hurdles for many of us. Today the spotlight is on brides, grooms and the newly engaged. Even if you don’t fall into this category, this could be helpful as a friend or guest of the couple to consider. While we’re living through tumultuous times, there is also so much to be celebrated — even if those celebrations look a little different.
I’ve teamed up with my wedding planner turned friend Karina Lopez of KC You There. Karina is also bride-to-be with plans affected by COVID in more ways than one. She openly shared her personal experience testing positive for the virus, re-scheduling her clients and her own wedding scheduled for August 1st, 2020, more on that here. With future plans still yet to be determined, we figured it could be helpful to tackle a bunch of your frequently asked questions that you submitted last week on our Instagram pages with Karina’s professional and firsthand perspective.
your FAQ’s answered by Karina:
Top 3 things to remember while planning?
You set a budget for a reason, stick to it! It’s easy to get carried away, remember what mattered most to you in terms of details and why you chose to have this wedding.
It’s OK to put your foot down and be firm on your choices ie; if you said no kids, then it’s no kids.
This is your day (as in you and your partner), people are going to have lots of opinions. Remember to smile and say thank you for the idea, but don’t feel obligated to change anything!
When do I give up on the idea of my original wedding?
When you’re ready to. As a Covid bride, I get it. You have to ask yourself what you really want. Unfortunately the dream we have as brides has changed a lot. But there’s no reason you can’t now create a new idea of what your new dream wedding can look like. At the end of the day, no matter the type of wedding you have, the result will be the same. You’ll marry your partner and that’s truly what matters most.
If planning for a 2021 wedding, plan for normal or COVID safe?
Plan for normal as plan A, plan for Covid precautions as plan B. One positive that can come out of not being a 2020 bride is that you’re able to see how planning pans out. The hope is that by 2021, weddings will (for the most part) get back to how they were originally intended. However, it’s good to stay as practical as possible. We are currently living through a global pandemic and no one can predict the future. By staying practical, you won’t set yourself up for disappointment.
How to keep excitement about a wedding when things could change fast?
At the end of the day, whether you’re planning a 10 person wedding or 300, it’s still an exciting experience! You can still keep pinning away your favorite wedding inspiration on Pinterest and reaching out to vendors for proposals. The planning process doesn’t change, although the outcome might. Just remember, you can still get gorgeous florals (centerpieces, bouquets, etc), an amazing photographer, videographer, catering - the list goes on - no matter the size of your guest list. It’s important to focus on the real meaning of the day, marrying your soon to be spouse!
How do I tell people they are uninvited? How to narrow down guest list? How to word invitations for people no longer invited?
If you need to disinvite guests, my suggestion would be to call them and express that while you’d love to have them in attendance, things have changed. I know this may seem daunting, so your other option would be to create a small card to be sent strictly to the uninvited list expressing that the wedding has unfortunately shifted. Don’t forget you can still offer to share the ceremony with them via Zoom! If you do this, be sure to share the info on this card and perhaps update your wedding website as well!
If you’re narrowing down your guest list, I would keep to immediate family and best friends (it’s OK to not allow plus ones in this circumstance in order to include more friends/family).
I’m working on a full post with my amazing stationer, Rust Belt Love where we’ll be answering wording/invitation questions. Check back next Monday, November 1st on kcyouthere.com.
How to deal with disappointing your parents by not having a big over the top event?
Considering the times, I truly don’t think parents will be disappointed in this. It may be worth having a conversation with them as they likely care more about your happiness than a big party. I’m not sure of your current situation, but if you are engaged this may be the perfect opportunity to say that you don’t want to wait long to get married and throw a big party considering you technically can’t right now!
Is it wrong to privately sign marriage papers now and announce later?
As a Covid bride, there are no more rules. Do what’s best for you and your partner. Friends and family will understand!
How to deal with vendors?
It’s safe to say all vendors have now updated their contracts to include the pandemic. My first suggestion is to read the entire contract as thoroughly as possible and ask as many questions as you need to until you understand everything clearly. If you’re not comfortable with a portion, let the vendor know. If they’re good at their job, they’ll be willing to figure out an option that is best suitable for you both.
If you’re currently working with a vendor and trying to figure out a new date, details, etc. bare with them. They’re likely doing this with all of their 2020 clients and maybe even some of their early 2021 clients. Do not commit to something they offer if you’re not happy with it, but keep in mind that flexibility (on both sides) will provide you less stress and anxiety. If you have a specific vendor question, feel free to DM me @kcyouthere.
What’s a reasonable amount of money to ask bridesmaids to put in for the day?
You know your bridesmaids best. I would be realistic and keep in mind that everyone is in a different position. Be mindful of all you’re asking of them and know that it’s a lot more than just the dress. Here’s a quick list of what they may have to cover (or contribute to) on their end: dress, alterations, shoes, jewelry, bachelorette, shower. One thing I will recommend, instead of gifting them with pricey robes or pjs they may never wear again, perhaps put that towards the hair and makeup cost.
As a friend / Maid of honor /bridesmaid, what can I do to make the bride feel better and be there for her?
Depending on the bride, I say either host a little Zoom get together (send her a pre-bridal box filled with cute/cheesy party gear, champagne and her favorite snacks) with her other bridesmaids/friends/family to make her feel special and show that you all care. If she’s not that type, then still send a “care package” with some of her favorite things and maybe include enough for her and her partner to enjoy together. At the very least, just check in with her. She’ll appreciate it more than you know!
I have a Friend getting married in a few weeks, is a cash gift okay or is it not thoughtful enough?
I always recommend cash. At the end of the day, the couple is starting their “new” life together - why not help them in doing so with a cash gift that they can do what they please with whether that be towards buying a new home or saving for a rainy day.
What to give a friend who eloped?
Did this friend register? Did they not have a shower? If so, perhaps something off of their registry. If they did not have a shower, I’d recommend a cash gift.
Any tips for shopping dresses for your body type?
Caralyn wrote an article about wedding dress shopping here and shared some great tips! Many still apply whether or not you’re shopping in person or at home.
WHERE do I buy a wedding dress online?
Believe it or not — there are some INCREDIBLE options for white dresses from more casual to full on wedding gown options. Here are a few of our favorite retailers:
ALEXIA MARIA | ANTHROPOLOGIE | ASOS | BRIDESIDE | BHLDN | DAVID’S BRIDAL | FAME & PARTNERS | LOVESHACKFANCY | NET A PORTER | NORDSTROM | REVOLVE
We hope this was helpful! Feel free to leave any other questions below or reach out to Karina directly on her Instagram!
Colin Gordon Photography
Karina & I at my wedding in 2018. Read more about my wedding journey and planning here!